Hello Jesus

The first time someone told me I looked like Jesus while I was sitting next to his mattress, I felt great. I’m not a religious person, but I could easily embrace the compliment. I guess Jesus was a special guy, so I felt special too. This was surely something I could get used to!

Then it happened once more. My ‘radiant presence’ was evident and comforting. It felt even better. There was a third time, and then something else happened. One guest saw me as the schoolteacher who had once bullied her. She looked at me with distrust and fear.

No Jesus this time.

As guides, we have to learn to deal with these things. To see them for what they are: symbolic projections that can be very helpful and impactful, even if we’re reflecting someone who did something wrong. I’ve been many things since my Jesus experience, from the dad they never had to the person who broke their heart. And even though it’s very personal, in a way, it’s also not.

We’re definitely not egoless. We bring our past, our conditioning, our triggers to the ceremony. It’s unavoidable. But we learn to work with it, to hold it all as lightly as possible. And retreat after retreat, we get better at it. Our personalities don’t disappear (thank Jesus for that!), but they tend to be less intrusive and attention-seeking.

I still like to be (temporarily) seen as Jesus, or an archangel, or Pure Love. Because it has a function, and because I know that even though we’re mere projection screens for our guests, my ego keeps purring in predictable ways.